Post HGTV: A Little Sadness...

Here's a pic of our friend Jerry, Steve's brother Jeff, and Steve enjoying our new garden. It's a happy scene because-- as I am well aware-- this is a very happy time for Steve and I.

But when you go through something like like having your yard redone for very little money, and you feel like you've won the backyard lottery, you can experience a post-event sadness. It's like when I used to work on youth group retreats, or even now when I attend a big comic-convention weekend or go on a fun trip where I meet new people and have this Amazing time. The period expends a ton of energy, involves loads of emotions, and then you're suddenly thrust back into your normal life and it's like... What? Did that just all happen? And you keep thinking about the event and talking about it with others, trying to convey the highs you experienced but never quite being able to recreate that macial "something" that was more feeling than concrete event.

For example, the crew from our shoot was made up of guys our age so every day we'd spend time talking about great restaurants or clubs they should go to in LA. Then the next day they'd report in on where they went, that they loved it, and it was a fun little ritual. They asked how Steve and I met, how he became an animator, what my telenovela was about, and I heard about their girlfriends back in the UK. It was just fun. So the other day Steve and I were talking about how we missed them. They were like these friends of ours who weren't technically our friends, but for those seven days I would certainly have been there for them the same way as I would for any of my other guy and girlfriends.

It's strange. I liken this melancholy sensation to when I've worked on film productions-- or even when I was in high school drama class-- you do these intense short-term projects, become very close, swear you'll be friends forever and then you go back to your world. And again, you feel that little bit of sadness...

Don't get me wrong, it's kind of a sweet feeling. And the only way to experience it is to share in a truly wonderful moment. Steve and I have had that through HGTV-- which Steve is now called "How Gay Television"-- and thus I'm grateful. It's a sadness that makes me reflect on my life, and think about how blessed I am to be here, now, in Los Angeles, and living an amazing life with Steve by my side.